Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Lately I've been thinking. I know, always a dangerous proposition, but it is what it is. These thoughts however, have been ringing in my brain for years.
Recently, I've been working a great deal with literature, reading and discussing it with high school students. Many themes repeat. By repeat I mean, they never leave. Honesty, loyalty, friendship, family, stereotypes, and choices. In a glance, it's a very daunting to even look at, but at the heart of it all, it's a reminder of how human literature is.
In a nutshell, honesty and loyalty have seriously come into question in my life. Specifically, friends doing things they ought not do, then telling me I "can't" be disappointed...What? Last I checked, they have known my style for more than a decade. In short, they know what to expect from me. How can they dare blame me? People making stupid choices is in one word, stupid. It kills me to see people I love hurt, then cause more hurt for themselves. I have the right as a human being to feel disappointed. Feel, feelings, emotions. I can't turn them off, so don't ask me to. Believe me, I would love to have the power to do so, but I'm the "live out loud" type, the type who's sometimes honest to a fault, the type friends typically come to for the raw and real. Not this time though, they wanted to hear that infidelity is fine by me, that even though there's a kid involved, it's all gonna be OK. Well, it's not, and I'm not. Like Ben Harper said, "If you don't want to hear the truth, don't ask me how I am."
So, that's me right now, in the middle of everything.

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