Tuesday, July 28, 2015

For My Friend, Than

This, plus and minus a comma or three, is exactly how it came out of my heart. This is for my friend Than who passed away five years ago this summer. To borrow a line from Atmosphere, he's one of the best people I've ever loved.

For you Than,

It's hard for me to wrap my brain around time. It's a concept that has always escaped me. So when I'm looking at the year, 2015, it's even harder for me to fathom that it's been 5 years. It's been 5 years since a good friend has gone. With every memory in my heart and mind, I sit here today still missing you Than. I remember so much more than I can ever form words to describe. Than, you were my first friend at CSC. And also my first roommate. We made quick time in making that room a campus legend. The Batcave. There is no doubt that room was ours. (I still see it that way.) 

But, amidst all the stuff that made college, college, I believe with all of who and what I am that the these memories made with you are so lasting because of everything you were and continue to be. I remember you sharing your spirituality with me on so, so many levels. Be it lighting your smokeless menorah during the eight days of Hanukkah, or talking about how simple, yet overlooked, the concept of "one love" really is. You didn't know it, but you were teaching me. Hell, I didn't know it then either. But, you did. And you still do. I know it now. I feel it now.

Another lesson you left with me is that "this too shall pass" really works. That's not to say that you, or I, didn't freak out when something big was due for class, or when the dumbasses somewhere in the catacombs of Ellis Hall set off yet another fire alarm, but the core of that stayed. That it'll be over. It will pass. That, in your words, "everything will be alright." And even as I sit here, crying for the simple and complex fact that I miss you, you were right. 

But, you were also wrong too. Because even though you're not here on this Earth in body, your spirit never left me. Even in the long stretches of no contact, those impacts you made on me have always been there. Always will. It's why it was always easy to talk to you Than. And just as easy to keep missing you. Your laugh, smile, and outlook. I fucking miss you Than, but that will never change what you ARE to me. 

Stay at peace because I know you're at peace. I'll see you when I get there Than. 

I love you always,

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